Satanic Pedophile Elite Theory

1,200 words

Years ago, during my brief academic career, one of my students explained to me how the Canadians were taking over Hollywood. At first, I thought that “Canadians” was just a euphemism for Jews. But no, as he continued, it became clear that he earnestly believed that the Canadians were taking over Hollywood, because it was cheaper to shoot movies and TV shows in Canada.

Around the same time, a friend told me of an encounter with a man who believed that feminism was a lesbian conspiracy. As evidence, he cited Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, and even Ayn Rand. What did all these feminists have in common? Obviously, he said, they were lesbians . . .

I had a similar experience when I first heard good people explaining that the West is ruled by Satanic pedophile elites. Surely, I thought, this is just a euphemism for Jews. But no, although some of these people are well-aware of the Jewish Question, they point out that a lot of our elites are not Jewish—Bill Clinton and Bill Gates, for instance.

Yes, but by the same token, many of our elites aren’t actually pedophiles or Satanists, either.

You can buy Greg Johnson’s Is America Doomed? here.

Still, I am quite pleased that large numbers of people believe that the likes of Jeffrey Epstein, John Podesta, and their friends are Satanic pedophiles. It might not be literally true in all cases. But it does capture something about our bizarre rulers.

At the beginning of American Psycho, Brett Easton Ellis argues that Patrick Bateman, though fictional, is true by quoting Dostoevsky’s Notes from Underground: “such persons . . . not only exist in our society, but indeed must exist, given the circumstances under which our society has generally been formed.” The same goes for Satanic pedophiles. Call it literary truth, poetic justice.

If you can even be mistaken for a Satanic pedophile, you might be doing something wrong.

Also, is it really unfair to characterize people as “pedophile” when they gave Jeffrey Epstein a very lenient prison sentence for trafficking underage women, then had no difficulty associating with a convicted sex offender once he was out of jail? Obviously, none of these people felt dirty associating with Epstein. If not pedophiles themselves, they were content to give him social validation.

Thus I am content to leave Satanic Pedophile Elite Theory securely in place. I welcome the chilling effect it has on elite networking. Congressional candidates will be less likely to take junkets to Israel and checks from Miriam Adelson if they know that it will be someday taken as evidence that they rape children.

No matter how cocooned our elites are from the real world, they interact with ordinary people all the time. Now they have to wonder if their waiter, parking valet, dental hygienist, anesthesiologist, gardener, coke dealer, or nanny thinks they might be rapists, cannibals, and Devil worshippers. The more “diverse” these people are, the more likely they are to believe such things. It is just a taste of the fear and vulnerability our elites have imposed upon ordinary white people through multiculturalism and open borders.

My main problem with Satanic Pedophile Elite Theory is that it is too naïvely optimistic.

Let’s begin with the “Satanic” part.

Some people seem so evil that it is tempting to believe in supernatural causes. But why the temptation? Is it because you think that no human being could be that evil without supernatural help? Is it because you believe that human nature is somehow innocent? Or do you just think that you are immune to such corruption? That strikes me as naïve optimism. In truth, all human beings by nature are capable of monstrous behavior without any supernatural help. Bill Clinton didn’t need the Devil to make him do it—and neither do you.

Second, if you believe in supernatural causes of evil, presumably you also believe in supernatural solutions. That too strikes me as naïve. If we really are ruled by shockingly evil elites, we don’t have time to wait for supernatural help. We need to overthrow them and bring them to justice. And when we do bring them to justice, we should simply disregard claims of supernatural repentance. If these people have changes of heart, they can demonstrate that by informing on other criminals.

What’s worse than being ruled by Satanists? Being ruled by people who are so evil that demons aren’t required.

Now let’s deal with the “pedophile” part.

Both Epstein and Maxwell were convicted sex traffickers. Pimping is a crime, even with adults, and it is even more a crime with underage victims, who cannot consent to sex, thus every act of prostitution is also an act of rape. Nobody seriously believes that Epstein was the only one having sex with these women. Bill Gates didn’t get VD from the toilet seat on the Lolita Express.

Sex crimes have such a powerful hold on the imagination that most people seem to have lost sight of what Epstein was all about. The whole point of Epstein’s operation was espionage.

At a certain point, Epstein was asking his friends for secrets, and not just trade secrets but state secrets. Revealing state secrets is treason. Rape is a serious crime. But treason is far more serious than rape, because treason does not victimize a single person, it victimizes whole societies.

Thus I was amused when people treated the fact that Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested for treason, not sex crimes, as a sign that the Epstein case is a “nothingburger.” No, the Epstein case was never just about sex. It was always about espionage.

Now let’s talk about the blackmail angle.

Many people think that Jeffrey Epstein filmed wealthy and powerful men having sex with underage girls, then used the tapes for blackmail purposes. Now, I am sure that Epstein kept records for blackmail purposes. But it seems charmingly naïve to believe that the likes of Bill Clinton, “randy” Andy Moutbatten-Windsor, Peter Mandelson, etc. would need to be blackmailed into betraying their oaths and nations.

Such people would sell out their nations as a favor to Epstein, who would do them favors in return. One of those favors might have been to supply them with underage girls. But there were probably a lot more important—and incriminating—favors in the offing, including bribes and kickbacks.

Now, if some of these people refused to share secrets with Epstein, I don’t doubt that he was willing and able to go the blackmail route. Moreover, if some of these people became enemies of Epstein, I am sure he was ready and willing to use blackmail as well.

But first of all, Epstein probably would not have needed to be so vulgar as to actually threaten exposure. It would simply be understood.

Second, when you commit a crime with someone like Epstein, only your first crime is purely voluntary, because once you have committed any crime, it can be held over your head to compel you to commit more of them. And it looks like Mandelson and the former prince Andrew committed far worse crimes than sex with underage girls.

What’s worse than Jeffrey Epstein using underage girls to blackmail wealthy and powerful men into betraying their countries? The possibility that blackmail was never even needed.

Source: https://counter-currents.com/2026/03/satanic-pedophile-elite-theory/